One of the following statements about Tunturia is not true, see if you can guess which one.

A) It is an instrumental rock band.
B) It being unsigned is a travesty.
C) It manages to blend perfectly the many styles of its various influences and contemporaries without once sounding like it is rehashing old music.
D) Its use of samples as connecting passages is also made its own, despite being a trick many other bands have employed over the years.
E) Its music comes across as upbeat when its want it to, absolutely minimal at other times, and yet it can also be intensely heavy.
F) It has 4 members.
G) Not one of the conflicting styles of music on this album takes away from the main focus. A rare achievement indeed.
H) Tunturia are probably not named after Tunturi, a Finnish manufacturer of bicycles and fitness equipment.
I) Tunturia probably are named after the Finnish word for ‘treeless plain’ from which English has derived the word Tundra.
J) Even with crushing crescendos in some songs, the band have managed to transcend the quiet/loud formula.
K) It is from Toronto, Canada.
L) Its songs give an impression of epic scale, despite averaging about 6 minutes.
M) Tunturia’s members are all professional alligator wrestlers.
N) The album has 10 songs on it.
O) "Cast Shadows on Clouds" is a song EITS will wish it had written.
P) This album stands head and shoulders above anything that has been released in a fair while, in the post-rock genre.
Q) I cannot really fault this album on anything, it is basically perfect.

Email your answer with the subject “it’s the one about the alligators” to I_have_missed_the_joke@completely.com before last Tuesday to win big prizes!
 
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-Ian Nicholls